Being a people pleaser means you have to think about what others would think in every step of your life. Not consciously; but something seems wrong while accepting things and something lacks while doing things that you actually wanted.
I ask myself repeatedly why i behaved in a certain way or accepted requests that merely fitted my intention. Saying yes without wanting and considering other peoples opinion indicate that there is a need to be fulfilled. And that need comes from deep down and is hefty. But it is blurry at the same time; makes it hard to see.
Fortunately a friend of mine noticed that i was a people pleaser. I guess he didn’t say that seriously, yet it contains drop of truth. Not just a drop, it felt like a huge wave of truth. Because it explains many minor decisions i made without actively thinking. Those tiny decisions lead to other and the chain goes on until it explodes and causes a disaster.
It explains why i haven’t been writing even though i wanted it so badly.
After the conversation with the friend i realized that i wanted to write for people. Not for me and not only because i was so passionate. I used to be praised and got compliments for my writings and poems when i was little. Then i was craving more compliments. Now i recognize that compliments are dangerous enough to make one so anxious and addicted to pleasant words.
It also points out that i am an ‘yeasayer’.
Accepting invitation even when it’s impossible due to lack of time. Being not able to reject anything if the other people persuade me. These are clear signs of an yeasayer. In instance, last year another friend of mine heard about a party that was going to take place abroad. Even i had no money and 2 big exams coming next, it required courage to say i won’t be able to make it. It was still that hard to say no.
I was about to write about something else when i opened this app. Then i remembered there is no one to read my blog and there will be no positive feedback. And i’ll freak out if someone finds a grammar mistake. This thought made it so exhausting that i almost decided not to write. Well, this happens to me a lot when i want to write something and publish it. I catch myself bother with positive outcomes and peoples opinion about me. A lot!
So here i am, newly found out one of my biggest weaknesses. Willing to change for better.
This writing is my first attempt and step to learn not fuck with other peoples opinions. They don’t care anyways.
People pleaser (noun [ c ]: someone who cares a lot about whether other people like them, and always wants others to approve of their actions.
(Definition from people pleaser — Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press)
